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About Us
THE SOULMATE PATH is Published Today!!
Hi everyone, on this day, January 15, 2010, Weiser, the publisher in
whose store in Greenwich Village I used to buy my first metaphysical
books back in the 1960's and 1970's when you couldn't find any books of
that nature almost anywhere else, has published our art-o-biographical
relationship book, "The Soulmate Path." Here for your enjoyment is a
sample chapter. Read on and you'll soon see that it's one chapter Tiger
Woods would now wish he had read before he got married.
Are You a Tiger or a Swan?
We laugh when we hear people referring to “unreasonable
expectations” because we know that all expectations are unreasonable;
no one is guaranteed another breath, let alone winning the lottery.
Such is the case when people ask, “How can you stand being together all
the time?” But they might just as well be asking someone else, “How can
you stand to live alone?” Unless we are able to imagine someone else’s
situation from his point of view, we will not only misjudge him, we
will miss out on new ways of thinking and living that we might love.
Secret: Judgment has its time and place. Let it help you be
relentless in your pursuit of truth and the deeper implications of
whatever situation you are in. Remember, criticism must be
constructive, not a smokescreen for hurtful words and deeds. Judge the
truth and judge the lies.
There are as many reasons to live alone as there are people who do
so. Our studies of ancient wisdom teachings and our personal experience
have taught us without a doubt that everyone is at the place in her
life where her past actions, strong beliefs, and fervent desires have
brought her. The present moment is just that: a present, a gift. In the
present moment you have a most precious gift: the power to change your
future. You can do so by consciously directing and controlling your
actions; examining, questioning, and adjusting your beliefs; and
bringing your desires in line with your goals.
If your past has brought you to a lonely place, find out why and
change your life and self so that you can feel comfortable being alone.
It will not happen overnight, but it will happen if you decide that you
want it to happen. Simply denying you feel that way, or saying “I don’t
like being alone,” and then bringing someone into your life and, worse,
into your home, without addressing the underlying problems will
jeopardize even the most promising relationship.
Some people, like the writer Henry David Thoreau, wish to hear the
quiet voice within themselves and within nature, a voice only audible
in solitude. Some people become nuns or monks, attached to a religious
organization, or go alone as hermits. Most people who are shy or need a
lot of privacy choose less total forms of withdrawal. They are usually
self-aware enough to realize that they don’t want the distractions of
cohabitation, period. In the past, social critics have unkindly deemed
such people “confirmed bachelors,” “spinsters,” or “loners.”
The desire to name and label everything is a natural one. But it is
time to honor the fact that we are all, every one of us, alone and in
many different ways, too. To do so, we propose a new term to describe
those whose extra¬ordinary need to be alone is a glorious reminder to
us all of our basic alone-ness. These people have friends and lovers.
They love just as much as we do, maybe more, for every wisdom tradition
teaches that sitting in silence produces great wisdom, compassion, and
love. From now on, let us agree to call these people “Tigers,” because
their version of love is more like that of the incredibly powerful,
beautiful, and endangered tigers of Asia that live alone in the jungle
and only associate with other tigers when they want to mate.
We are of the “Swan” persuasion. Swans mate for life and spend most
of their time with each other. Though we are mated for life and hope to
be together beyond this world as well, a person does not have to have a
romantic relationship with a person to be a member of the Swan tribe.
If you are looking for a soul connection and a life with your Soul Mate
when you finally discover each other, you are a Swan.
Just
remember that, although Swans and Soul Mates can be fiercely protective
of each other, they almost never turn their fierceness on each other
and, if they do, they immediately recognize their mistake, ask
forgiveness, and kiss and make up. The unfortunate phenomena of the
“macho” male distorts a man’s true role, which is to serve and protect
his Soul Mate and family.
Great love transcends time, the physical world, and all categories.
We have met lots of people who are obviously Soul Mates but who are not
in a romantic relationship. Still they have incredibly close,
spiritual, and sometimes psychic connections. They can be best friends,
siblings, relatives, or parent and child.
Amy: My Mother
Although she is no longer with me in the flesh, I will love my
mother forever. Telling you about her is more relevant to my
development as a person and an artist than if I filled this whole book
with the individual events of my life. I was a mama’s girl. I lived
with my mother for almost forty-six years, and Monte and I miss her
terribly. We all lived together in the same house, which was unusual.
She was our mother, our best friend, our artistic collaborator, and
occasionally our only child.
Without Ma, there would be no “Enchanted World of Amy Zerner and
Monte Farber,” and not just because I would not have been born. She
helped us in more ways than I can say. She showed me how to be a
working artist, and I am proud to follow in her footsteps. Her love for
life and for her family and her dedication to her work inspired
everyone who knew her. We were always close but became even closer when
my father, Raymond, died of a heart attack while driving to pick me up
from graduation practice at East Hampton High School in 1969. Though
she was devastated and felt like joining him on the other side, she
stayed for me, my sister, Toni, and my brother, Peter.
I
learned from Ma’s gentle guidance that the key to being a successful
artist was simple: if you are not failing, you are not trying. She even
managed to tell me this in such a way that I was never aware that my
work was anything less than wonderful. I remember being four years old
and making my first garment for my mother for Mother’s Day. Even though
I knew it was lopsided, my mother oooohed and ahhhhhed over what I had
done.
But she was a great critic and would not give praise
undeservedly. When she crossed over, I wondered how I could ever make
another piece without her seeing it and giving me hints and advice, but
she assured me on her dying day that she would always be there if I
needed her. She knew how much I depended on her guidance. I do feel her
now, always with a helpful, loving hand and her wonderful laugh.
We were not together every day. Monte and I traveled frequently,
doing lectures, workshops, and our annual Inner Voyage cruises. My
mother had a boyfriend in Vienna, where she maintained an apartment
year round and visited for two months twice a year. Unfortunately, she
was in Vienna on April 26th, 1986, and for weeks afterward, when the
Chernobyl nuclear reactor in Ukraine suffered a major accident and
released poisonous quantities of radioactive gases and dust into the
air. Ten years later, she was dead from severe leukemia, brought on by
myelofibrosis, a rare radiation-caused disease found frequently in
Europe after Chernobyl.
When Ma got sick, she told us that she did notice and clean up a
lot of dust on the patio of her Vienna apartment for a couple of days
before the cowardly Soviet Union finally told the world what had
happened. Losing someone we loved totally reinforced our already strong
dislike for nuclear-generated power, something we had worked against
here on Long Island for many years.
In 1985, Monte was working as the location manager of the movie The
Money Pit and asked his boss if he could go home early that Friday
night because his mother-in-law was coming back home from Vienna after
two months, and he had really missed her. His boss looked at him
incredulously and told him that he was really scraping the bottom of
the excuses barrel. It took Monte twenty minutes to convince him that
he was serious and, after his boss heard that we all lived together,
another ten to convince him that he, Monte, was not “St.
Pussy-whipped,” the patron saint of mothers-in-law!
My mother and I talked about everything. She had let me pick out
whatever clothes I wanted when I was a kid and encouraged me to be an
individual when I was a teenager. She contributed greatly to all of our
work and to our enchanted marriage, too. Even now, it is difficult for
us to return home from one of our merry adventures, our Inner Voyage
cruises, a Hamptons or New York City party, a book tour, a convention,
or any trip and not have her there to hear our stories. Her caring and
insight really complemented and completed everything.
I can easily see her hunched over her drawing table at all hours of
the day and night, working feverishly because she loved her work, which
was usually drawing animals, children, and illustrating fairy tales,
which let her live in a sweeter and gentler world. I suppose that is
another thing that I have inherited from her. She was a master at
pen-and-ink drawing, and her impeccable sense of color, style, and
design was a gift that she inherited from both sides of her family.
Though she was an artistic prodigy who graduated from Pratt
Institute in only one year(!) instead of the usual four, she was a
truly spiritual person who never flaunted her brilliance and made
everyone she met feel better. She devoted herself to the small things
that make life worth living. Everyone who spoke at her memorial, as
well as the hundred people who came to my studio where it was held, all
commented on how remarkable she was. A friend of hers, a Jewish cantor
who was also a printer and had worked with her on several books, called
her a “Zedek,” a truly rare and righteous person. He told me with a
smile that to call someone a righteous person, especially a “shiksa”
(non-Jew) like my mother, was the highest compliment he was capable of
giving.
Ma also inspired generations of children through the dozens of
coloring and activity books she designed for Waldman Publishing. During
the twenty-five years she worked for them, she befriended Israel
Waldman, the company’s founder. She not only supplied him and everyone
she came in contact there with art, but with her wise counsel, and she
helped many of them get through some horrific times.
The day after she died, we called Mr. Waldman’s home to break the
news to him, only to find out that we had interrupted the memorial
ceremony going on at his home. He had died of a heart attack the same
day as my mother and within minutes of her passing! I knew he’d always
had a crush on her, and this amazing synchronicity (since he was ten
years her junior and not even ill) made us wonder if he wanted to
escort her to the other side. Swans are even more spectacular when they
fly away home.
Monte: A Tiger Turns Into a Swan
Amy and I have lived together since May of 1975, when I loaded an
apartment full of possessions into a Ryder truck and said good-bye to
my bachelor apartment on DeKalb Avenue, Brooklyn, just a few blocks
from my alma mater, Brooklyn Technical High School. I had moved into
the place with two shopping bags containing everything I owned besides
my musical equipment. I had rented it a couple of years before, and
doing so marked the end of seven hard years of homelessness.
My
apartment had been on the top floor of an historic brownstone that I
rented from a very nice African American family who lived on the floors
below me. I don’t know what they ended up doing with the place after
all of the “improvements” I made to it.
I covered the domed ceiling of the living room with multicolored
glitter, troweled spackle onto the walls of the kitchen and peaked it
up like cake frosting, and then spray painted it and all of the
semi-lethal spackle points bright gold. Then I painted the walls of the
bedroom flat black and the ceiling midnight blue, both of which helped
the blacked-out window shade keep out the light and enable me to sleep
during the daytime when my musician’s nightlife interfered with my
bill-paying day job. At the time, I was the traffic manager for a hi-fi
speaker company on nearby Taffee Place called Ohm Acoustics, a fancy
job title meaning that I loaded tractor trailers with boxes of heavy
wooden speakers every day.
My apartment was just a few blocks past Amy’s former apartment
above the coffee shop, which she had shared with Rupert Smith, across
from the gates of Pratt Institute. Rupert turned us both on to
astrology before going on to make prints for Andy Warhol.
I could not leave my first apartment without reflecting thankfully
on the lessons I had learned there. I had gone from being homeless to
being a low-level executive, and I was feeling good about myself again,
fully emerged from the misery of poverty and self-doubt. It was not
just the job and the money, though they certainly helped. I included in
my grateful prayer the weekly lessons I received from Self-Realization
Fellowship, the organization that is the legacy of Paramahansa
Yogananda (Parama means “divine” and hansa means “swan” and refers to
the mythical swan whose powers of discrimination were so acute that it
could pick a drop of milk out of a lake. Yoga means “union,” and ananda
means “bliss.” The life and teachings of this divine swan had certainly
helped me find my blissful union!)
I made my bedroom closet into a meditation room and spent many
happy hours there alone in Yogananda’s own Kriya Yoga–style bliss. Try
as I might, I cannot remember where in my apartment I put my clothes,
though I think it was in the very large bathroom! However, since my
desire for order in life transformed me into something of a neat freak,
my place was always neat and clean.
Yogananda, who died in 1952, struck me as a truly spiritual person,
and almost everyone I like turns out to have been somewhat influenced
by his teachings, too. However, that was as close as I ever came to
“having a guru.” Amy and I have always been the kind of people for whom
The Bible’s admonition to “Put not thy faith in Princes” easily
extended to the following of gurus.
Although we are swans, we are both fiercely independent and prize
our ability to invent original solutions to any challenges, whether
they be personal, social, artistic, or business related. It is easy to
see that a union of strong, independent people creates a strong,
independent union. I could never understand why so many men had a hard
time with women who were fully and beautifully themselves in all their
feminine strength and glory. I find that incredibly sexy about Amy,
almost as sexy as she looks, sounds, and smells. I love knowing that I
can depend on her for brilliantly creative and totally honest advice.
There is a lot of Tiger in these two Swans and it feels divine!
Buy the Soulmate Path here:
http://search.barnesandnoble.com/Soulmate-Path/Monte-Farber/e/9781578634712/?itm=1&USRI=soulmate+path |
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