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About Us
Are You a Tiger or a Swan?
Hi everyone, this is a chapter from our relationship book, "The Soulmate Path" Enjoy!
Are You a Tiger or a Swan?
True love is true
acceptance, acceptance of self and, if you have one, of your beloved. The two
of us feel extremely blessed to have found each other, but that does not
diminish anyone else’s life choice. We believe it is crucial for everyone to
realize that living alone is as valid a choice for a life of quality and
meaning as a life lived with a Soul Mate.
Take it from two Soul
Mates who have found each other and created our own enchanted world, it is more
difficult to find and keep your Soul Mate if you are unduly uncomfortable with
being alone. Simply denying you feel that way or saying “I don’t like being
alone” and then bringing someone into your life and, worse, into your home,
without addressing the underlying problems will only create more problems.
If you are living alone
now, you need to honestly appraise your feelings about your situation without
being unduly influenced by the endless pressures from your family, friends, and
our entire culture to partner up, marry up, and hurry up and stop living alone.
Don’t be afraid to admit to others or to yourself that you really do like
living alone.
It is more than just
okay to like living alone. A person who has a hard time being alone may not
like themselves or their present situation. They may be trying to distract
themselves from their pains, from having to make hard choices in the present
moment, or from some aspect of the past, present, or future that frightens
them. There are some people who believe that they can only figure out who they
are and what they want by having other people around to tell them or to pit
themselves against. These, too, are valid life choices as long as they are
consciously chosen.
Some people, like the
writer Henry David Thoreau, wish to hear the quiet voice within them and within
nature, a voice that is only audible when you live alone. These people become
cloistered religious practitioners or Hermits. Most people who are shy or have
an intense desire for privacy choose less drastic forms. They are usually wise,
honest, and strong enough to realize that they do not want anyone interfering
with them in any way and so they simply refuse to share their home with anyone.
In the past our society has shamefully and suspiciously called these people
“confirmed bachelors,” “spinsters,” and “loners.”
It is time that we honor
the fact that we are all, every one of us, alone and in many ways. We propose
that we all now change the term we use to describe those whose extraordinary
need to be alone is a glorious reminder to us all of our basic alone-ness.
These people love just as much as we do, maybe more, for every wisdom tradition
teaches that sitting alone in silence produces great wisdom, compassion, and
love. From now on, let us agree to
call these special people “Tigers” because their version of love is more like
that of the incredibly powerful, beautiful, and endangered tigers of India and
Asia who live alone in the jungle they rule over and only associate with other
tigers when they want to mate.
We are of the “Swan”
persuasion. Swans mate for life and spend most of their time with each other.
Though we are mated for life and hope to continue to be together beyond this
world if it is at all possible, a person does not have to have a current
romantic relationship to be a member of the Swan tribe. If you are looking to
have a soul connection and to live with your mate when you finally discover
each other, you are a Swan. 
The meaning of your life
is to give your life meaning. Whether you are a Tiger or a Swan, don’t look
outside of yourself for someone to give your life meaning or to help you feel
fulfilled and complete. We are all growing and no one has the answers to your
questions about life, even if they say they do. You are the answer to your life’s questions. You can live a
life of quality and meaning, a life where you feel fulfilled and complete, but
only if you make an effort to understand yourself and to accept yourself as you
are. You can do that alone or with another person who helps you be yourself.
Being committed to growing lovingly and consciously makes life a magical
adventure.
In our case, with Amy
being an artist since she was a toddler and me being a musician first and then
a writer, our goal has always been to make our life a work of art and our art a
work of life. We have always consciously incorporated the life lessons we were
learning into the art we were making.
Staying together is an
art and all of us trying to bring love into our lives are artists. Every artist
knows a creation of the moment is a
creation of the moment, so fragile and delicate it can be ruined as easily as
it can be strengthened. A most valuable lesson of being an artist is learning
how to integrate the inevitable mistakes that are a part of developing – what
we call the principle of the “controlled accident.” Eventually, you learn to
recognize, forgive, and even embrace these mistakes as opportunities to grow
and create something original and wonderful.
So, are you a Tiger or a
Swan? Can’t decide? That’s all right, too. As long as you make a conscious
effort to get in touch with your authentic self, you are on the right path.
Tigers and Swans both have to remember that they must never stop loving
themselves or otherwise lose sight of the fact that most of us are fine just
the way we are and our real problems start when we believe that we are not.
Buy the Soulmate Path here: http://www.amazon.com/Soulmate-Path-Find-Love-Strengthen/dp/1578634717/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1294581382&sr=8-1 |
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