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The Enchanted Collection of Amy Zerner and Monte Farber
The Enchanted Collection of Amy Zerner and Monte Farber
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Monday February 21, 2011

TECHNIQUES FOR FALLING ASLEEP


Sleep deprivation is a terrible problem for millions of people but not for me or my wife Amy; we drift off right away and sleep soundly and seemingly always have. We are very lucky, first of all because we’ve found each other and have been sleeping together since 1974 and have a great relationship – so great, in fact that we were asked to write a book to share our relationship secrets. The trouble was that we didn’t have any relationship secrets, we just had a great relationship, or so we thought. However, when we sat down to write what turned out to be our autobiographical relationship book and oracle, “THE SOULMATE PATH” we realized that we had quite a few relationship secrets.

 

No one who uses the internet or reads or watches television or listens to the radio or talks to other people can avoid hearing how tired people are, how much energy they lack, and especially how hard it is for so many people to fall asleep. And so one night, as I lay myself down, confident that I would soon be asleep, I thought to myself, “Maybe I have some secrets for being able to fall asleep so easily and maybe Amy has some, too.” Planning to write a book may sound exciting enough to keep a person up all night, but knowing the reality of doing so is enough to send anyone searching for another world to live in, in this case "The Land of Nod," as they used to call sleep in old fairy tales.

 

Amy and I have created several of what we call "adult childrens books," books designed to help us all regain that sense of wonder and awe and excitement we had as children when we read a new illustrated book. We've devoted our lives to sharing what works for us with our readers and we’ve been very gratified with the results. But no one is going to be able to get very much from our existing and future books and Amy’s works of art, not to mention from the events of their own lives, if they haven’t been getting enough sleep! ‘


 

As people who earn their living from the practical application of their creativity and spirituality, it turns out that Amy and I are creating and pondering the nature of personal reality right up until the moment we fall asleep. This book contains the most effective pre-sleep trains of thought that we have created for ourselves. It is our most sincere desire that these trains of thought carry you to Dreamland, The Land of Nod, or whatever you prefer to call a good night’s sleep.
 
The basic problem for those having trouble sleeping is fear, not of the "boogie man" or of the dark, though they can certainly play a part if you believe horror movies. I sometimes think that people who have trouble falling asleep have a fear of death, but who doesn't fear death? Do they fear the out of control feeling of our dream state? If so, I don't blame them. I'm not a big fan of dreams - they exhaust me. Dreams are work, pure and simple, but is that enough to fear the process of going to sleep? I don't think so, for most people, anyway.
 
As Franklin Delano Roosevelt said, "We have nothing to fear except fear, itself," and this is the basic plight of everyone who is having trouble sleeping - you're afraid you're not going to be able to sleep and so you start the process of falling asleep with a tremendous handicap. Talk about "creating your own reality!" You think you won't be able to sleep and so you're so busy worrying that you keep yourself up!
 
Only you can deal with your fears and you may have a better way of dealing with them than me, but I find the best way to deal with them is to give myself a break and treat myself as kindly as I would a dear friend who was having a problem. Be gentle with yourself, there's plenty of people who won't be so why do their work for them? I try always to not get angry or more fearful just because I'm fearful or nervous or anxious - I assume that the way I'm feeling is how I'm supposed to feel, given my circumstances - but to just keep trying to do my best and not let my fears stop me. They're like dragging a weight around, but hey, sometimes you just have to drag a weight around to reach the place where you can finally put it down.
 
So if you've been having trouble sleeping, don't beat yourself up about it and don't think that things are always going to be like the way they've been. Just plunge in, fears and all, and give the following techniques a try. What's the worst thing that will happen? They'll keep you up at night? ;-) Actually, calming yourself down and loving yourself more is one of the best ways to put yourself to sleep. It's all about relaxing, right? Pleasant dreams!
 
You may want to make a tape or CD of yourself or someone else reciting the following to you, though you certainly don't have to. These techniques work. Why, I'm getting drowsy just thinking about them! ;-)
 
1)   Forgive EVERYONE, starting with yourself. You may encounter resistance to forgiving everyone, especially forgiving yourself, but it’s just a way to get you to sleep quickly, so just go along for the ride, even if you don’t mean it. Try it. Forgive yourself for every stupid, insensitive, inconsiderate and downright mean thing you’ve ever done – yes, including anything you’ve hated yourself for doing, too! It’s time to feel the loving forgiveness that until now you may have believed that only God/dess could feel. Just keep saying "I forgive ..." over and over. After you’ve forgiven yourself, forgive your parents, separately and together, for the mistakes they made. See them as the human beings they are and were, see them as having tried to do their best, even if it seemed like they weren’t trying at all.

Remember what age they were at when they had you and realize how you might have dealt with things at that age and in their circumstances. Yes, this may make you emotional but just go with that and keep on forgiving them and yourself for not forgiving them sooner, even if this is just a sleep exercise. It is a very powerful sleep exercise because consciousness is a very powerful thing and shifting into sleep mode is like shifting gears on a car or truck, you can’t just do it without respect for the mechanics of what’s involved or you’ll strain or damage the gears. Forgiveness is one of the best “transmission fluids” for shifting into sleep mode. Forgive everyone and everything for seeming to try and stop you, hurt you, or even destroy you. Forgive completely. Don’t worry, you can go back to feeling the way you’ve always felt when you wake up, blaming and being angry at whomever you want. Just do your best to forgive everyone before you go to sleep and you’ll go to sleep before you know it. And don’t forget to forgive yourself for not forgiving correctly. Let every thought about something being wrong with you or someone else or the world be an indication who or what you should forgive next. Let that path lead you to the world of dreams, but don’t keep checking if you’re near sleep, just keep forgiving. An added benefit of this exercise is that you may find yourself more able to forgive yourself and others when you’re going about your daily affairs. However, if that doesn’t happen remember to forgive me, too!

 

2)      One of the most powerful things that keeps us from going to sleep is being addicted to our personality, a word derived from the word “persona,” meaning “mask.” Our personality is our most basic work of art and we spend our lives creating and refining it and it’s sooooo interesting that who wants to fall asleep and leave the seemingly solid personality we’ve created? Especially when we believe that our dream world is completely out of our control (it isn’t, but that’s for another exercise!) So how do we drop the personality/mask we’ve so painstakingly created?


a.       Forget your name: Realize that your essential nature is beyond your name and say to yourself “I am a spirit in flesh, traveling onward through life. I am not my name.” Your intention to forget your name for a while to help you go to sleep will help you realize the truth – you are not your name. Just for a little while, accept this strange fact as being true. You’ll come back to your name when you wake up. Do this exercise until you feel that you are not just saying words, but that you are speaking the truth – the truth that you are not your name, you are much more than that.


b.      Forget what you do for a living: Just as you are not your name, you are not what you do for a living. Say to yourself: “I am a spirit in flesh, traveling onward in life. I am not what I do for a living.” Once again, your intention to forget what you do for a living will enable you to forget while you say those words. Do this until you feel like you believe that you are more than what you do for a living. Don’t keep testing yourself to see if you’ve forgotten your name and what you do for a living, just do your best to feel the truth in the fact that you are not your name and what you do for a living.


c.       Realize that you are not what your senses are telling you each and every second: Most people fall asleep working on completing (b), but if you are still awake then realize that you are not what your senses are telling you every second. Go through your senses one at a time, not trying to shut them down, but just noticing what they are telling you and realizing that you are neither the sounds, touch, smell, taste, or even sight that your senses are reporting to you. You are simply you, pure consciousness with your special perspective on reality and your reality now is that you are on your way to dreamland.

  
Best wishes,
 
 

January 16, 2011March 06, 2011
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