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About Us
This is chapter one from our book about relationships "THE SOULMATE PATH." It's all about being alone, a very important part of being in a relationship. Let me know what you think of it!
ON BEING ALONE
Some people enjoy living with one person or more. Yet it is obvious that some people like to live alone, even some of the ones who say they desperately want someone to share their life with.
In the free world, we�re privileged with the choice to explore all available aspects of life, if and when we so desire. We can choose to accept the conventional wisdom about our possibilities, given the circumstances of our birth and beyond, or we can choose to blaze a new trail and create new definitions of what is possible.
The meaning of your life is to give your life meaning. In our search to find our special gifts and to use them, everyone has to go through different phases in life that may alternate between desires to be either social or solitary. We believe that everyone should live alone for a time. Living alone may prove to be the best way for you to bring love, light, and laughter into your life and the lives you touch.
It is a pity when someone does not realize that living alone is just as valid a choice for a life of quality and meaning as a life lived with a Soul Mate in the next room. We feel extremely fortunate, blessed in fact, to have found each other, and we have worked harder than most people to make our good fortune last, but that does not comment on or diminish anyone else�s life choice.
Whether or not you decide to live alone or with another, problems will arise when people fail to be true to themselves and instead perform according to others� expectations. It is important not to be afraid to admit to others or to yourself that you really do like living alone and do not want anyone disturbing your hard-won sovereignty over yourself.
HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT BEING ALONE?
Inscribed upon the two pillars at the entrance to the Oracle at Delphi were the two essential pieces of advice for having a successful and healthy life: �Nothing in excess,� and �Know thyself.�
We all are alone, every one of us, and in many ways. At times the two of us feel alone because there do not seem to be many couples who have our kind of relationship. Inventing your own artistic style or trying to brush the �dirt� of ignorance and superstition off the buried treasure chest of ancient wisdom to be found in what has been mistakenly called the �occult� is a real challenge! As the saying goes, you can always tell the pioneers; they�re the ones with the arrows in their backs.
Being true to yourself, expressing your creative self fully, and finding your Soul Mate will not guarantee a life free of suffering. It does mean that you will have a partner to share your burdens and that your life will be much more enjoyable and meaningful.
According to the Prussian Colonel Von Clausewitz, the great military strategist, the first rule of warfare is, �Make your base secure.� This rule works just as well for anyone with a goal. Our first and greatest �enemy,� or obstacle, is usually our own self, or, more accurately, that self�s fears. (Von Clausewitz is probably more known for another quote, �Love is war through other means,� but thankfully, that does not apply in our enchanted world.)
A hero is just as afraid as a coward, but goes on in spite of her fears. All of us have these same fears, and the successful among us are the ones who go on anyway. By using plans and rules and the advice of elders and wise people as our armor and our army, we can all win our personal battle for love, contentment, and material success.
You cannot move on to finding your Soul Mate if you are unduly uncomfortable with being alone. You build a house by starting with a strong foundation, the same way you write books and build strong relationships. People secure enough to live alone can find the confidence in themselves to take risks in both relationships and on big projects.
The foundation of a committed relationship is the two people in it. If anyone in a relationship feels very insecure about himself or herself for whatever reason, real or imagined, the relationship itself will feel insecure, and it will eventually prove unsatisfying. If one or both of those people secretly yearns to live alone, or if the temperaments involved are unsuitable for cohabitation and no one wants to admit it, all the books in the world won�t help them to find true love. True love is true acceptance: acceptance of self and of the beloved.
How do you feel about being alone? This is not a trick question. There is an old saying, �For every pot, there is a lid,� a clever way of suggesting that there is a perfect match for everyone. However, people are not pots and choosing to live by yourself is a valid life choice. If you are living alone now, it is important for you to honestly appraise your feelings about your situation without being unduly influenced by the endless pressures from your family, friends, and our entire culture to partner up, marry up, and hurry up, and have children. If you learn nothing else from our book, please learn that you have the right to decide the kind of life you want to experience, no matter what anyone else says.
It is more than OK if you like to be alone. If people have a hard time being alone, there is a good chance that they don�t like themselves or their present situation and don�t want any reflection time. Those who do not like to be alone may be trying to distract themselves from past pains, from having to make hard choices in the present moment, or from some aspect of the past, present, or future that frightens them. There are some people who believe that they can only figure out who they are and what they want by having other people around to tell them or to judge them. Once again, these are all valid life choices, as long as they are consciously chosen.
Whether you are alone or in a relationship, it is critically important that you do not look outside of yourself for someone to help you feel fulfilled and complete. You can only feel fulfilled and complete if you make an effort to understand yourself and to accept yourself as you are. We are all growing. Being committed to growing lovingly and consciously makes life a magical adventure. We must never stop loving ourselves and lose sight of the fact that most of us are fine just the way we are. Our real problem is believing that we are not. |
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